I Don't Understand

When our hearts get hit by loss, there is so much we don't understand. Some have dreams of their loved one. We wonder what these things mean. 

From the Grieving Heart:

Last night, I dreamed of you. We were walking through a meadow. A gentle breeze was blowing. Flowers were blooming, and there was a delightful fragrance in the air. 

At first, we were side by side, and then you began walking a little ahead of me. We walked down a hill and arrived at a peaceful stream. It was so beautiful. 

You walked into the water and then turned and looked at me. You smiled, and I could see the love in your eyes. Then you turned around and waded back in. 

I tried to follow, but I couldn't move. I panicked. I called out to you, but you kept going. As you got closer to the other side, you began to slowly disappear. Then you were gone. I stood there, weeping. When I woke up, I could feel the tears streaming down my face. 

What was that? What does it mean? 

Are you telling me you're okay? Was that a goodbye of some kind? Did I just get a little glimpse of heaven? 

I was glad to see you, if only in a dream. I miss you so much. 

Somehow, you feel less far away today. I know you're gone. And yet, I still have you somehow. 

I don't understand this at all. 


Our minds have trouble resting

It's been said that we heal while we sleep. Our bodies rest and rejuvenate. Our minds often grapple with what we can't consciously process during the day. Dreams can be an attempt to reconnect with our departed loved ones and to somehow make more sense of what happened.

Not everyone has dreams of their loved one, and not every dream is a positive or reassuring one.

For most of us, our minds don't rest well after a loss. Just as our worlds are shaken, our sleep is usually affected. If dreams of our loved one come, we naturally want to know what they mean. In most cases, the best place to look for an interpretation is our own hearts. 

When we have dreams of our loved one, it is certainly related intimately to our grief process. 

Some dreams might generate more questions. Others might reassure us and bring more peace to our hearts. Still others might stir or intensify our longings for our loved one. 

We continue to practice breathing deeply. We will be patient with ourselves on this unpredictable journey. What we don't understand now might make more sense later. We should seriously consider what our heart is telling us and grieve as well as we know how at this point in our journey. As we learn to live one moment, one day at a time, we’ll be taking giant steps in understanding our grief.



There are many things I won't understand. I'll be patient with myself.


 Adapted from the newly released book, Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss. 

About the Author

Gary Roe is an author, speaker, and chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley. He is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child, Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving, HEARTBROKEN: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse, and Surviving the Holidays without You and the co-author (with New York Times Bestseller Cecil Murphey) of Saying Goodbye: Facing the Loss of a Loved One. Visit him at www.garyroe.com.

Grief In Action