I Have More Questions Than I Realized

Loss generates questions - lots of them. Many of them have no satisfying answers, yet our hearts must ask them anyway. 

From the Grieving Heart:

What about God? How does he fit into all this?

Couldn't he have done something? If he is good, why doesn't he step in and prevent things like this? Why does anyone have to die?

I have more questions than I thought. Losing you has opened a Pandora's Box inside me. I don't seem to have any answers. Only questions.

And the biggest one of all is, "Why?"

Perhaps I'm angry at God. Eventually, the buck must stop somewhere with someone, right? How could he let this happen?  

Maybe my idea of God is muddled. I know I'm confused right now. Not much of anything makes sense. I'm full of angst and looking for a place to unload it. I'm irritable and cranky. My fuse is incredibly short. Everything bugs me. 

I feel small. Tiny. Life seems so big and overwhelming. 

Questions and more questions 

Sooner or later, most grieving hearts wonder how God fits into all this loss and pain. The departure of someone we love generates a boatload of questions, and the big one underneath them all seems to be "Why?"

"Why?" is often too large for us. It points to something or someone larger and more powerful than we are. After our minds trace through all the possible reasons why the unthinkable could occur, many of us find ourselves pointing an angry finger at God. 

Some wonder, "Is it okay to be mad at God?" Whether it's acceptable or not, many people are angry with the one who they ultimately see as having the power to prevent catastrophe and is therefore, in the end, responsible for it. No matter what our feelings are and towards whom, it's important that we're honest with ourselves about what's happening inside us. 

Grief will be expressed, one way or another. The same is true about being angry with God. If possible, it's best to find healthy ways to expel our angst and frustration. Tell God about it. Speak our feelings. Write them out. Draw them. 

If we have a relationship with God, it might be good to remember that the quality of any relationship is based on trust and authenticity. If he is God, he already knows what we're feeling. Be real with him. Share. Let it out. Ask the questions. Our hearts need to express what's inside. 

Affirmation:

When I'm angry with God, I'll be honest about it. He can handle my emotions.

Adapted from the newly released Comfort for Grieving Hearts. To watch a brief video about the book, click here.