Where Have All the Listeners Gone?


We all need to feel seen and heard. This is especially true when we're hurting from a loss. 


From the Grieving Heart:

I can't do this alone. I don't want to do this alone. Yet, I feel so lonely.

No one seems to understand. I guess that's reasonable. No one can see inside my heart, read my mind, or feel my emotions. But I want someone to understand. I need to be seen, heard, and understood. 

Maybe being seen and heard would be enough. That would be a great start, in any case. 

Where do I find the people I need? Where have all the listeners gone? I know everyone is busy with their own lives and that meeting me where I am is going to require patience and energy. 

I have figured out that if a person hasn't experienced significant loss, they can't have a hope of being with me in this. They simply can't get there. 

I need someone who knows grief. I need someone like me.


Grieving hearts need to be heard. 

Grief is a lonely road, but we were never meant to travel it alone. Loss is a universal experience. We all have people we care about leave, disappear, or die. Many of us are walking this demanding, unpredictable path. Finding fellow travelers can be a key to adjusting and living with loss. 

We all need to be seen and heard, especially when we're hurting. Usually, people who know grief are the ones who can see and relate to us the best. These people look into our eyes and sense our pain. They’ve been on this road. They know what it has been like for them, and they can better imagine what it might be like for us. They can do better than sympathize. They can empathize. 

Yes, some fellow grievers are fixers and advice-givers. Some will compare their losses with ours and decide whose is worse or more difficult. Others, however, understand that there is no fixing this. They enter our lives with no agenda. On some level, they feel our pain and know that the best thing they can do is simply be with us. They offer us their presence. 

These people are often found in support groups. Sometimes they are grief counselors or spiritual mentors. We need them, and they need us. We're in this together. 


I will find people who will listen and walk this grief road with me. 


Adapted from the book, Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss. To view a brief 1-minute video about the book, click here


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About the Author

Gary Roe is an author, speaker, and chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley. He is the author of the award-winning bestsellers Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child, Please Be Patient, I'm Grieving, HEARTBROKEN: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse, and Surviving the Holidays without You and the co-author (with New York Times Bestseller Cecil Murphey) of Saying Goodbye: Facing the Loss of a Loved One. Visit him at www.garyroe.com.

I'm Grieving, Now What?