Widowed

Financial issues are naturally stressful. So is loss. Put the two together, and the pressure can be overwhelming and frustrating.

FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:

I feel frozen. Stuck. Paralyzed.

The world is moving, but I’m not. I’m going through the motions. I walk in a daze. I find myself staring at walls.

I can’t move. It’s like my heart has been anesthetized.

I had never heard of “widow fog” or the fog of grief until I became a widow. You probably hadn’t either. It’s not something that non-grievers discuss.  That meant that I was caught totally off guard when memory problems arose after Pat’s death.  I really questioned if I was losing my mind. It really did feel as though I were in a fog.

When our hearts have been hit, loneliness begins to invade. Every relationship is unique. No wonder grief is lonely.

FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:

People seem shy around me. And no one mentions you. Why is that?

Are they worried about upsetting me? I’m already upset.

When a loved one dies, our lives are altered forever. This includes the future we anticipated.

FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:

When loss strikes, our lives are forever altered. We don't like this new life. Someone we love is missing. 

FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:

I don’t like this new life. I want a life with you back in it. I miss talking to you. I want to hear your voice — not a voicemail, but your real voice. I want you here, now.

Loss sensitizes us. It can make more kind and compassionate. We can look back and wish we knew then what we know now. 

We need to be heard. We need to be seen. We want to be loved. Grief is hard enough already.

We know loss is painful, but none of us is quite prepared for the loneliness that descends on us. 

From the Grieving Heart:

When loss strikes, our future is unpended too. what we anticipated is no more.