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Ste the Sunflower that we had started to grow before your spirit soared to heaven has now shown her face as a symbol of solidarity and hope that you are now at peace.

When all else eases a little, guilt keeps on building up. We wonder what we could have said or done differently. We tell ourselves that if we had kept them talking a little longer, they would not have been at that red light at that exact time. If we had taken them to the doctor sooner.

“That Cold Night You Left Me”

As days goes by and nights drift in,
I wonder how did your pain begin?
I drift back to that cold and windy night,
Still not believing you gave up the fight.

Who survives the death of their child? Do parents feel they even really want to survive the death of their child? The death of my child was the most devastating loss and pain I have ever felt and those that walk in a similar journey would agree.

The tears fall freely on my face tonight

My grief has to be seen

A journey full of heartbreak, 

And it all seems like a dream.

In answer to those of you who ask my husband and I these questions:

“Are you getting there?”
“We don’t know where there is, but no we don’t feel like we are getting there.”

“Is it getting any easier?”
“No, sadly, every day seems to bring a deeper awareness of our loss and grief.”

“How are you?”
“Struggling through our grief.”

Romans 5:5 (NKJV)
“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”