http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/watchandlisten/play/ba6d10472.
When I lost my son I didn’t know what to do with my self. Life seemed to stretch on endlessly and it did not include me. I was totally lost and afraid I would never come back from it, never. My friend brought me to singsnap and I started there, singing. It helped and I was surprised. I don’t feel I can sing very well but it didn’t matter. I sang this song for my son and it mattered so much to me.
As I work with many widows, I often am asked about advice for settling estates and handling financial affairs after the death of their spouse.
This is the passing of child grief and self grief. I hope I can write this so you all understand what I am trying to say and if I don't succeed, you will let me know.
When Tim died, the normal everyday mask was torn off, like blinders from my eyes. I suddenly found that I had no filters, no mask, and no give a shit. It didn’t matter to me how people perceived me, or if they even came around, which they didn’t so the loss of filters is very serious. Once everything hits you, you are in a storm that the earth has never seen. If your grief, anger, and sorrow could swallow the whole world and spit it back out. You deal with pain so unknowable there are no words for it. It cannot be measured or boxed up. So what do we do with it?
Music therapy has been around a long time as a healing modality. It sure can be a big help when we need some mood-altering, can’t it? I’ve leaned on it a lot in the years since Pat has been gone. It even made an entrance in my head as my beloved husband lay in Critical Care during his last few days. Not in the way you might think, not the soft music that hospice workers suggest.
"Sometimes you don't get to bring them home...be assured they have found a new place that is safe, loving, caring, and waiting for you to join them."
I had never heard of “widow fog” or the fog of grief until I became a widow. You probably hadn’t either. It’s not something that non-grievers discuss. That meant that I was caught totally off guard when memory problems arose after Pat’s death. I really questioned if I was losing my mind. It really did feel as though I were in a fog.
Grief is one of the most powerful human emotions, and it often coupled with sadness. However, grief involves so much more than feeling blue, although this itself can be a profound emotion. When we lose something or someone that is dear to us, be it a job, our health, a pet, a relationship, or ultimately, a loved one, we experience a rollercoaster of emotions that cannot be defined by one single feeling. Sadness, yes, but so much more besides.
