I had never heard of “widow fog” or the fog of grief until I became a widow. You probably hadn’t either. It’s not something that non-grievers discuss. That meant that I was caught totally off guard when memory problems arose after Pat’s death. I really questioned if I was losing my mind. It really did feel as though I were in a fog.
Grief is one of the most powerful human emotions, and it often coupled with sadness. However, grief involves so much more than feeling blue, although this itself can be a profound emotion. When we lose something or someone that is dear to us, be it a job, our health, a pet, a relationship, or ultimately, a loved one, we experience a rollercoaster of emotions that cannot be defined by one single feeling. Sadness, yes, but so much more besides.
Where does one go from here? We have all of these dates and holidays bulldozing down on us and we are running scared. How much more pain can we be expected to take? Our days are already filled with so much pain we wonder how we can still be standing, talking, walking etc. Now comes the first anniversary, second, third, fourth of our loss. Ahead or behind comes the firsts for birthdays, holidays. By all the Gods, what can we do?
The loss of a spouse, no matter how old you are, is a traumatic experience. Not only are you losing your partner, but death also brings with it stress and anxiety related to financial security, changes in lifestyle, and even feelings of reduced personal safety.
Hello, my friends, it's been a while. I am trying to wrap my head around the holidays and Tim being gone 6 years. It only seems like a moment ago, yet an eternity has already passed. I want to scream that it is not fair that time slows and speeds up at the same time, but I know fair has nothing to do with it. How does such an anomaly happen? I believe our memories and brain fight with each other trying to save us such pain only to bring on more. Where do we go from here?
Of all the skills a new widow needs to master, and there are so many, one of the most helpful is becoming computer literate and very good at online research. I’d rank it in the top three. Why such a high ranking? Why is this one so important?
