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Death is a concept that feels distanced to most of us; something that seems far away and avoidable. But, the reality is that death happens without warning. No matter how old or young you are, you will never be able to truly prepare for loss.

The thought that one day the people we share our lives with will no longer be there is impossibly deliberating. Of course, any loss is difficult to process, but the loss of your significant other is uniquely painful.

“You’re coming home with us,” I said. My husband and I and our twin grandchildren were standing by the hospital emergency entrance. Nine months ago, their mother (our daughter) died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Now their father was gone, killed in another car crash. The life I had known stopped and I was engulfed in darkness.

Heaven got much brighter on the day that I walked in

I want to tell you so much now, so where do I begin?

You worried deeply on that day that you’d forget my smile

Stonework and masonry have played an important role in how people commemorate a person’s loss for thousands of years. If you go back to Ancient Egypt, you could argue that the pyramids were perhaps the boldest memorials in history - enormous stone monuments built to honor the passing of pharaohs.

The book, 52 Lists for Happiness, was a gift from my granddaughter. When I first read the title, I questioned the author’s concept. But when I opened the book and saw that Moorea Seal had divided it into four sections—Reflect, Acknowledge, Invest, Transform—I thought she might be on to something.

Well, here we are again. I'm sure some of you are getting tired of hearing from me. That's okay, I'm here anyway. We all have gone through a lot after our child/children passed.  The road we now walk is so rocky and steep, the top so far away. Some of us won't make it and I already grieve for the loss of a light soul passing away from us. More of us will keep climbing, what else can we do? We can step out on different paths to see if they suit us but this main path will always be beside us whatever direction we go.

I have decided that unless my grandkids are in grave danger; I am keeping my opinions to myself.

I lost my youngest son 8 years ago in a sudden death accident. I have managed to function pretty well with the outside world. I go to a therapist, my doctor on schedule and participate in Grief groups. Not that I’m really concerned with myself however I don’t want my kids to mourn a brother and a mother. 

It seems they don’t quite understand how hard living each day is for me. I will share an example from early on and one more recent.

Mom was homeless in the final thirteen months of her life.