When Tim died, the normal everyday mask was torn off, like blinders from my eyes. I suddenly found that I had no filters, no mask, and no give a shit. It didn’t matter to me how people perceived me, or if they even came around, which they didn’t so the loss of filters is very serious. Once everything hits you, you are in a storm that the earth has never seen. If your grief, anger, and sorrow could swallow the whole world and spit it back out. You deal with pain so unknowable there are no words for it. It cannot be measured or boxed up. So what do we do with it?