I had to take my husband to the hospital emergency department last week. Although I’ve done this before, it was more difficult this time. Five days ago my husband had surgery and he felt tired and “beat up.” Certainly, he didn’t need any more medical complications. After undergoing some tests, he was transferred by ambulance from one hospital to another, and re-admitted.
Grief is a sensitive issue and an issue we all face. These are my experiences and the truth of my journey and studies in this area. My words are simply signposts for you to guide you back into your own truth.
My daughter Jeannine has been prominent in my thoughts lately. Since her death on March 1,2003 at the age of 18, due to cancer, there isn’t a day that goes by that I am not reminded of her presence in my life. The best of who Jeannine was in her lifetime is embodied in me and will forever be embodied in me.
This time 4 years ago the woman I called mum was approaching the end of her life.
Removing her life support gave her permission to make the final choice.
Four hours later she took her final breath.
I began my grief journey with no idea where it would take me,
I Wonder if you’re watching me
As I sit here and cry
I hope that you don’t hear me
Asking God to tell me why
Do you know that I stopped living life
Without you by my side
Is it possible that you will know
I’ve lost all of my self pride
I know you would be saddened
To see me live this way
I’m making changes starting now
We are all individuals, our circumstances are different and our relationships are different as is the resultant level and depth and length of grief we experience. Whilst there are undeniable similarities – each experience as unique as our fingerprints.
When a Mother Loses her Child:
I cry.
I don’t want to cry.
What good does crying do?
Crying doesn’t bring you back
Crying doesn’t fix anything
Crying doesn’t really give any relief
Anger in grief, whether generalized, towards someone who may have contributed to the loss of a loved or towards God is a very common human reaction. Frankly, it would be strange if you weren’t angry. You’re angry because you loved them and wanted them to stay close to you always. Selfish maybe, but normal and human.
