Before we lost Brian we were a tight fun family. We were full of laughter, crazy moments, adventures, shared stories & a togetherness that could not be broken. The four of us were thick as thieves. Then our worst day happened & in a flash our family came crashing down. We were no longer what we once were. But I am here to tell you, your family can put the pieces back together again. Its not an easy road. You will be broken. You will make mistakes. The unhealed parts of you will unintentionally hurt the ones you love.
Holy Week - 2020
My baby girl passed away on the Monday, April 5th, 1982, right after Palm Sunday. Her death, funeral visitation, and burial happen during Holy Week.
Thirty-Eight years ago, I buried my youngest daughter, and I had zero input in that decision. She was snatched from me at a very young age by a heart condition that today is quickly fixed with surgery right after babies are born. Sadly, back in 1981, the technology had not been developed yet to help my baby.
In moments that you’re missing me
In memories that you keep
In days that you are struggling
At night when you’re asleep
Sitting here thinking about the state of the world right now, my boy, my blessings & these two!! Being my husband & stepdaughter has not been an easy task after losing Brian. But, they love me, support me & forgive me for the short comings I had as a wife & stepmom after we all lost him. That’s the true testament of family, isn’t it? It’s not only being there when you’re spot on as mom, wife & stepmom, which I always took great pride in. It’s being there when things fall apart. Crash all the way down.
Skin Hunger Can Be a By-Product of Widowhood. It's not often discussed, but it's true. One of the nicest benefits of an intimate relationship is the physical contact that comes with them. While that includes sexual contact, that's not what I'm talking about here. Maybe a topic for another day. No, what I mean is the ordinary touches and connections that are an integral part of close family and housemate relationships.
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
I feel frozen. Stuck. Paralyzed.
The world is moving, but I’m not. I’m going through the motions. I walk in a daze. I find myself staring at walls.
I can’t move. It’s like my heart has been anesthetized.