The Beginning

It began in October of 2010, I got a phone call saying my mom had been taken to the hospital because they thought she might of had a stroke, they kept her for a few days and then left her come home. On Nov. 6th, her boyfriend took her to the hospital, were she was admitted to the hospital once again because she spiked a fever of a 106, they kept her in isolation for a few days and did tests, they found what they said was a rare pneumonia that only 1% of the population gets, called BOOP.

She then went to a rehab because of the tests, sickness and hospital stay, she lost her strength, she spent Thanksgiving in the rehab… Which she did not like at all! She was home by Christmas, by the end of Christmas she was back in the hospital and was there until after the New Year.

On January 17th she got news that her boyfriend was hit by a train and killed! From there her health really took a turn for the worst and she was in and out of hospitals and rehabs. She came out of a rehab after the 4th of July and stayed with her brother and his wife for a short time before she was back in the hospital to have her leg amputated because she was diabetic and had gangrene.

She did very well with the leg amputation and went to a rehab once again. On Aug. 6th her sister threw her a birthday party in the rehab for her. On Aug. 8th she went in to the hospital for an outpatient surgery to have 2 of her toes amputated on her left foot. My family and I went in to visit on Aug. 9th and she was in good spirits, laughing, smiling, and telling us she was going home.

On the morning of Aug. 10th around 6:00 a.m. my doorbell rang, and there stood a policeman. He told me it concerned my mom and I was to call the rehab. I then knew she had passed even before I called them. I had called my one sister and she did not take it well! I then called my moms brother and sister’s, my moms one sister then went to my moms home to tell my lil sister and brother.

After our moms death I and my siblings struggled because she was all we had other then each other. My lil brother and sister both struggled the most because they both lived in or around her home. Four weeks after my moms death, my husbands passed, after losing a short battle with cancer.

However we all pulled together and made the best of what we had. I did Thanksgiving dinner that year, and my sister did Christmas Eve. We had a great time Christmas Eve as a family, we had nerf gun battles, told stories, and such. All was great through out December and January. On January 28th 2012, my brother and sister’s and I went out with friends and spent time together. It was the 2nd best night I had with my siblings, but it all came to a holt on Feb. 10th 2012 when my only baby brother was murdered.

Had a very odd morning the morning of Feb. 10th and I thought maybe it was because of the 6 months death of my mom, and I could not sleep. I finally laid down and my cell phone vibrated, and it was my youngest sister. My hands started shaking when I noticed it was her because I always worried if something happened when I get calls that early in the morning.

When she picked up she said her butt must have dialed my number, so I laid back down and 15-20 minutes later my phone vibrated again. I didn’t answer because I just thought she dialed my number again by accident. After my phone stopped I heard my husbands phone go off, he answered it and it was my other sister. I then knew something was wrong, and I had this feeling it was my brother, he hung up and looked at me and told me my brother had been shot.

I thought, okay, he just caught a bullet in the arm or the leg, and he was at the hospital…. NOPE! My husband had come downstairs where I had been on the phone with my Aunt, and he said he was dead! It was then when my body went numb and I hit the floor. I was screaming and crying, but it was one of those no tears crying. My husband then took me down to my Aunts where my sister’s were. When I got there I was vomiting, hyperventilating, and have anxiety and panic attacks.

After not settling down, my Uncle took me in to the ER. They did tests and kept a watch on me for a while. I was then released and sent me home with anxiety medication. A few days later I went to see a Psychologist, and I was diagnosed with PTSD and they put me on depression medication along with my anxiety medication. It is a morning I will NEVER forget! I got involved with Years of Tears, a non profit organization here in Berks County of Pa, to help other victims and their families.

It will be 5 months of his murder on July 10th and I many people tell me I should move on and not dwell, it’s easier said then done, those people don’t realize that this is a nightmare that I may not wake up from for a long, long time, especially since there are hearings and trials. I do know one things for sure, and that I will be my brothers voice, from here on out! It has been a year and eight days since I lost my only brother to homicide, and I am now the secretary of Years of Tears.

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About the Author
I am Brooke Ninni Matthews, a 40 year old housewife and a mother of two, whom I adopted from Foster Care. I live in Reading, Pennsylvania. I’ve lost my mother at the age of 57 to heart complications and diabetes, and 6 months to the day of my mother’s passing, I lost my only 31 year old younger brother to homicide. I have 5 sister's, a birth father, and a step dad remaining. I’ve found that writing and telling my story helps.
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