Colors of the Spirit: We Are All One in Grief

I originally published a version of this article for The Open to Hope Foundation (www.opentohope.com) on July 24,2014 following my return from the national conference of the Compassionate Friends in Chicago. I recently found myself drawn to this piece, probably because this year’s Compassionate Friends national conference is drawing near. During my Chicago trip, not only did I feel my daughter’s presence, but experienced the clarity and peace that is intrinsic to nature. I continue to be in awe over what our natural surroundings continue to reveal to me about my life path in the aftermath of my daughter Jeannine’s death. 

Nature is one of the many colors of the spirit, with a life of its own and a beauty that cannot be described in words.

Embracing Sacred Law

From July 11, 2014 through July 13,2014, I attended the 37th National Conference of The Compassionate Friends in Chicago, Illinois. Since 2008,I have been attending and presenting workshops for The Compassionate Friends whose focus is to provide hope and support for families who have experienced the death of a child. I always look forward to meeting old friends, making new ones, and for the opportunity to share teachings that I have discovered since the last conference. Since my daughter Jeannine’s death at age 18 of cancer, on 3/1/03, I have undergone a metamorphosis from an uncertain, pain wracked soul, to a person who has found my peace in the aftermath of my daughter’s death. In retrospect, I have found my peace because I have learned to embrace sacred law to facilitate transformation after loss.

For me, honoring sacred law means, a willingness to discover the connections in everything, even in events that seem on the surface to be unrelated.  

We then endeavor to discover the teachings associated with those connections and utilize them on the path we walk after our children die. To do this requires our commitment to walk in awareness and to view our lives and our loved ones’ death from a different perspective.

Airport /Airplane Signs

 When I arrived at the airport in Syracuse, New York, I parked my car in the section labeled: “North 12. I immediately focused on the numbers 1 and 2, added them and came up with 3, which is the month of my daughter’s death. On the flight to Chicago, I sat in Seat 10C. C is the third letter of the alphabet, so when I substituted the C with the number 3, I realized that my seat number contained the day and month of Jeannine’s death. These discoveries reinforced to me that Jeannine was not only signaling her presence with me, but would also be my partner and guiding light in facilitating three workshops during the conference.

Nature Comes To Life

Whenever I fly, I am always grateful to get the seat by the window. The view of the outside world from up above the clouds is simply majestic .I am able to quiet my mind and focus on the moment at hand more effectively when I connect with nature. During the trip, I saw heart shaped clouds and an image in the ground that looked like a bald eagle. This is some of what Ted Andrews has to say about eagle, in his book Animal Speak

• A willingness to experience extremes in a controlled condition and thus facilitate the alchemical process within your life. The fire of the sun and clear water are opposite elements brought into harmony in a manner that elicits change.
• A willingness to use your passions and use your abilities even if it means being scorched a little.
• A willingness to seek out the true emotional aspects of oneself and immerse yourself within them, and by doing so rediscover the lost child and awaken a higher sense of purity, passion, creativity, healing and spirituality.

In the later years of my journey following Jeannine’s death, I have honored the yin and yang of my emotions and embraced them to facilitate transformation after loss. Eagle reminded me to continue to do so, while revealing my authentic experience with others.

Learning to Witness

One of the highlights of my conference experience was having the privilege to present a workshop with my “soul brother” Kris Munsch . We addressed a variety of different topics during our workshop, such as empowerment, self-discovery and tools for transformation. It was effortless presenting with Kris, I felt like we had done this together many lifetimes before. Kris and I are different, yet we are united by the passion we bring to the teachings we have discovered and our willingness to witness those perspectives with each other without judgment. All of us who have experienced loss due to death or other life-altering transitions embrace different paths to transformation. Being a non-judgmental witness to another’s life path, facilitates understanding. If we wish to be understood, we must first understand. When we commit to understanding, we become teachable. As long as I seek to understand and remain teachable, I will be understood and able to teach others with honor and integrity. If all of us can commit to being each other’s witnesses, we will be able to transcend the outward differences we perceive in each other and create a world that is governed by unconditional acceptance and love, which to me are the true colors of the spirit.

Many colors of the spirit
Many lives below the sun
We are colors of the spirit
We are many, we are one

From the song, Colors of The Spirit by Journey