Four Prerequisites to Communicating With Your Deceased Loved One
While we wonder what they are doing, they are right there trying to tell us...
An interviewer asked Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: “Can we communicate with loved ones who have gone on?”
Elizabeth Kubler Ross: "Yes, if you are ready and if you are at a high enough spiritual level. It can be done through dreams and also through other methods. I always tell bereaved parents, after they have given up their heaviness and resentment, to say, "I really need to see you in my dreams. I need to know that you're okay." If there is a lot of sadness and anger, the one who has gone on cannot come though. But if the conditions are right and there is enough faith, the contact will occur."
Do you want to communicate with your deceased loved one?
Do you think YOU can communicate with them?
Is there a difference in "receiving a sign" from your deceased loved one and continuing your relationship with them?
What do I need to do to receive a sign from my loved one?
Learning About Spirit Communication
Let’s take a look at the possibilities of continuing your relationship with your deceased loved one…
I presented a couple workshops at the 2016 BPUSA (Bereaved Parents of the USA) conference in Indianapolis, Indiana a couple weekends ago. One of workshop topics was How to Receive Signs from Your Loved One.
Now, although we discussed 15 methods to use to receive signs from your loved ones, I mentioned four prerequisites prior to the discussion of the methods.
I realized that the prerequisites are the foundation and must be discussed prior to discussing receiving signs from your loved ones. These prerequisites are like academic classes you need to attend before you move into application classes for school. (ex: Chemistry class before Chemistry Lab)
So, I will discuss those all-necessary understandings you need to recognize prior to establishing your new relationship with your loved one.
Four Secrets To Understanding Spirit Communication
1. Know that this is a two-way relationship and that you are responsible for your part of the new conversations.
You previously had a physical relationship with your loved one in which both you and your loved one contributed love, understanding, caring, time and reciprocal action and response.
Currently, you are still in a physical relationship while your loved one is in spirit. You will need to think about and understand what that means and how different your relationship will now be.
It will be necessary for you to understand the mechanics of how this new relationship will work.
You will need to understand how your relationship currently works and what will be required of you to maintain your new relationship.
We tend to “want a sign” to help us in our grief but in actuality, in the whole picture of your new life, this is a new relationship with your loved one in a new kind of conversation and it requires your participation.
2. Know this is your choice to continue your new relationship with your loved one. First: you choose to survive. Second: you choose to DO something different.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described choice (in the quote) above as: “if you are ready and if you are at a high enough spiritual level.”
Choice, in this case, does not mean you merely “want” to receive a sign from your loved one but you have processed through your grief to the point where you can understand your part in the new relationship.
Although many grievers believe that receiving a sign from their loved one will ease the pain of their grief, this is not necessarily true.
One of the major life choices for bereaved parents is to open their heart to love again. But in early grief, decision making is difficult, thus making it nearly impossible to allow the focus to shift from the body and mind to the heart. Ongoing daily decisions and time allows for this shift to the heart that allows for and encourages the griever to choose life.
When you are able to choose to survive in your new and different life, a new foundation of life can be established where you can make decisions from your heart not your head. It is your heart decisions that support action steps in your grief process.
By choosing to DO something, you take responsibility for your part in your continuing relationship with your loved one.
3. Understand: Through your loved one’s life review (what everyone experiences upon transitioning into spirit) they grow and understand more than we will ever know until we reunite with them. You now have a relationship with who they are NOW, not the drug-addicted, alcoholic, mentally unstable, mentally or physically challenged, immature, baby, toddler, adolescent, adult person they were when they were in their physical body.
You no longer have a relationship with the physical loved one you previously experienced in their physical life. They have shed their physical life problems, have examined, evaluated and accepted their life, behaviors and lessons from their physical incarnation and now live as spirit.
It is a difficult and complex shift to make after loving their physical being and missing that physical relationship. However, it’s also a dichotomy of beliefs to maintain heart “knowing” and head thoughts in two different planes. (Maintaining thoughts of them with their challenges in the physical while wanting or expecting signs from them in their spiritual form).
How can you expect your loved one to manipulate energy to bring you a feather, a coin, a bird, bring you numerical symbols, turn on and off lights or your television or computer, shift energy in the room, “touch” your shoulder, bring you a scent, create synchronicities so you understand them and at the same time still think of them and treat them like the physical being you related to in their physical life with you?
It’s through your understanding and acceptance that this will change…
4. Know that building this new relationship will require you to practice patience and trust.
Like grieving, like acceptance, like life, creating your new continuing relationship with your deceased loved one will be a process. Both you and your loved one will need to learn how to relate differently. They will need to learn how to communicate with you through their energy and you will need to learn how to “receive” or be aware and notice their signs, symbols and synchronicities.
Further, the reality is: when learning how to create your new relationship, remember that you will continue grieving making awareness, noticing and trusting difficult.
OK, Now What?
Give yourself a break. Accept you in your process. Take care of you in your process. Research and read all you can about continuing relationships.
Remember: you are just learning how to remember what you already know. (You are re-learning your native language - that of energy!) Your loved one wants to continue their relationship with you and is trying to do just that.
Open yourself to the possibilities. You can communicate with your loved ones. (Everyone can!)
Remember, it’s called a continuing relationship for a reason…because your love continues, the relationship continues and two souls have to maintain it!
Wishing you patience, love and trust in developing your new relationships... Chris
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