Grief:
A twisting storm of emotions…
deep, cutting, crushing, confusing, disorienting
sorrow & joy
tears & laughter
releasing a breath in a passing moment of calm; “I’ve got this; I can do this”
gulping for air in a clenching vice-grip of pain; “I can’t breathe without you”
accepting the fact that you really have passed on from this world
expecting you to walk through the door because it’s not possible you’re gone
smiling at signs you give of your loving presence
missing your voice, your laugh, your touch, your smile
feeling joy for memories of the years we had together
dealing with guilt about those stupid petty arguments we had
looking through hundreds of photos of you that make me smile
crying a well of tears that there will never be another one taken
admiring the beautiful talent that you expressed through your art
agonizing over the loss that this is all there will ever be
being thankful that you’re relieved of all the pain you suffered
asking God in a dark moment of anger, “why did you take him away”
stumbling as I step forward without you on my life’s uncharted rocky path
falling down bruised and broken because I don’t want to live life without you
living one-moment-at-a-time hoping to make it to the next
striving to grope my way through the darkness of grief just more night
wishing for this tight dark cocoon of pain to release me into a rainbow
hoping I’m strong enough to make it through this storm again tomorrow
thanking God that I will
