Want to give your parents a Christmas present this year?
I know that one of our goals as humans is to live life happy and if we aren't happy, to somehow find what is going to make us happy. I've heard many times from many different authors who write about life after death, our loved ones just want us to be happy. They don't want us to carry around pain or guilt. It's our job as humans to work out our pain and guilt so we can continue living. We are the ones who are still alive and we are the ones who need to go on living in the physical world. Grief can feel like you're stuck in one place... it can also feel like you're never going to move forward. If you're willing to do a little bit of work each day, I promise you, you can move mountains.
I had a crappy car that was giving me emotional pain every time I drove it. It reminded me of my of my mom dying, the days leading up to her death, and the life I continued to live without her. I searched for what felt like a long 9 months, trying to figure out what kind of car I'd like to have an on-going relationship with that would bring me pleasure. At first, I wasn't sure if I could do it without my parents or someone else's help. I wasn't even sure if I *wanted* to do it on my own. I decided I was fully capable of doing the research and work to get the car I wanted, and was committed to not letting anything stop me from getting it. This is me jumping for joy after finally finding and buying the car I wanted and I did it all by myself! A car baby in my life was born, lol!
You can give your mom or dad a present this year for Christmas, and throughout the year: a promise to yourself and to them that you're going to live life happy and if you're not there, that you're committed to figuring out 1 thing that can make your life better, easier, more fulfilling, more enjoyable and make it a reality.
If Christmas in general is creating pain inside you - figure out 1 thing this year that you can change, that you have control over and put it into action. If you commit to yourself that the ultimate goal out of this moment is happiness, you can focus on what you can control right there in the moment. Sometimes it's your mood and attitude that you have control over. Sometimes it's a situation or people you're spending time with. Sometimes it's changing a tradition. I gave a few examples of things I have changed and examples of how to make a shift in Missing Your Parents During the Holidays Series: 7 Ways to Feel Better (Part 1)
The present you can give your parents and yourself is to make sure you're moving forward in your grief and doing the best you can at making your life as blissful as possible. I got this tattoo to remind me of what I should be doing, and when I forget, I just look in the mirror.