Strong with Child Loss

Ever since losing my 17 year old son Brian in a car accident when someone would say the word “strong” it would make me so mad. Cringe even. “You are so strong” “i could never be this strong” “you have amazing strength”. All of these would make me want to punch something or them. I always want to say “I am not strong. You do not see me constantly crying at home, in the shower, in the car, at my desk for no reason, in aisle 7 when I see something that triggers Brian for me.”  But as I am sitting here this morning drinking my coffee I got to thinking parents who have lost a child, you know what - WE ARE STRONG!!
 
Just the first step out of bed, onto the floor takes strength for us. Taking a shower, strength. Going to work, strength. Making a simple cup of coffee, strength. Talking to others, strength. Having an enjoyable evening out, strength. Now we all know if, god forbid, something happened to their child they would have no choice but to become “strong” too.
 
Maybe in their eyes seeing us be able to put one foot in front of the other shows then how “strong” parents really are. I think for this new year the next time someone says “you are so strong” I think my reply may be “You bet your A.. I am”  
 

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I'm Grieving, Now What?