You kept me strong baby girl

I wish there was somebody I could honest tell,
That the life I'm living is my own personal hell,
I learnt speak aloud how I truly feel,
For the hurt it would because I could never heal,
I live for my family it's their life I'm leading not mine,
Life flashes by me so quickly I'm running out of time,
I try to please them all but I'm physically not able,
In front of others I try and appear I am still stable,
I will always try my hardest, and try my best,
But my family’s drama is a daily test,
To check my patience in each and every way,
I wish they could all just stop for even a single day,
For them to just step back and see all the pain they cause me,
It’s not normality, not the way a family should be.

I remind myself that this is only something I can only dream,
My family strives on drama, a life to them it must seem,
You see my families greatest weakness is the alcohol that they all drink,
They wont admit this or take a step back and to think,
Think about other people them drinking may affect,
It’s not a solution you know when life is all but perfect,
My family’s poison I make sure I stay well clear,
I couldn't cause that pain, not even a single tear,
The black sheep of the family it they make me feels,
But no matter what they throw at me I will always heal.

When weakness creeps up on me down the motorway I must go,
I must always stop my family from seeing how much they hurt me so,
My closest are a challenge, a mountain I climb that's so steep,
But this fight I will finally win, repatision in life I will always keep,
Because although the years may have stripped me slowly bit by bit,
My secret inner weakness I will never allow any of them to ever hit,
Shush... don't tell them, I grew stronger the day my daughter was born,
I now no longer question living; I am no longer torn,
I vowed to never allow my little girl to follow the life I've had,
I will ensure her life doesn't turn out anywhere near quite as bad.

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I'm Grieving, Now What?