I need to let my Grief talk.....
Here I am in a new state, a new job, and a new relationship.
Everything is New, New, New....
And yet I yearn so much for the Old, Old, Old....
Why I ask myself ? Why do I yearn so much for my Old Life ?
Because it was what I knew.
Because it was the life I Loved.
But that life does not exist anymore ...
It disappeared...just like a magician disappears the girl...
Only for me it was my husband...
And now the life that was attached to "US" also disappeared....
Every step I take forward helps me heal....
But this forward does not come without pain....
For every move that I have made forward...such as moving to a new state, a new job, a new relationship...
Each one has made me mourn....
A New State.. made me mourn for my old one...
A New Job...made me mourn for my old one...
A New Relationship...made me mourn for my old one...
It is as if each progressive step I have taken is a step forward...
But also a Funeral Of My Old Life....
So for every step we take....
We also have a funeral to attend to in our heads....
The End Of our Old Life...
And The Beginning Of A New One...
I feel very blessed to have found an incredible man to have by my side in this journey...
Yet as much as I love him and he loves me back.....
No one can take away the pain of each step into my New Life....
I have made the choice...
I have taken the Plunge...
And slowly I will embrace this new life that God has put before me....
But once again not without Pain......