if only I could see her
the universe would smile
the slow demise of courage would cease
and purpose could begin
in my heart and my mind
if only I could hear her
the fog in my heart would lift
and the light could shine into the wound
causing the unfeeling to feel
and I could love again
if only I could touch her
a fire would fill my chest
and my eyes would shine again
pushing the lifelessness aside
like the sun does in the morning
if only I could hold her
the power of life would surge
arcing through my spirit like a lightning bolt
pushing out the deadness
to welcome this new life
but I know instead
that I will bask in her memory
until the inertia of us is spent
and life trails off as my voice does
carefully saving the last breath
to speak her name