Have you ever wished you could fast forward through something? A tedious conversation, or maybe a visit with the perky dental hygienist and her terrifying arsenal of metal weapons? Mother's Day isn't supposed to be on that list, is it?
If you’re missing your mother this year, or maybe you’re a mom missing your beloved child, you know what I’m talking about. It’s inescapable- hourly reminders of happy moms and kids everywhere you turn. If you’re considering pulling the percale sheets over your head and waking up Monday, you’re not alone.
I remember the first Mother’s Day after losing my mom. It was impossible to know how to feel or what to expect. It’s been a several years now and the intense emotion has subsided... but not without a few tears along the way. Here are some thoughts that might help you cope this week:
* Make a plan. Don’t let the day sneak up on you. Tell someone close how you’re feeling, and ask for help planning your strategy for where you want to be, and how you plan to spend your day. A quick getaway to the beach or the mountains could be a refreshing distraction this year.
* Buy yourself a gift.
Whether it’s a beautiful potted plant or a trip to Tahiti, know that it’s okay to do something kind for yourself. I'm enjoying some beautiful pink roses today, I'm sure my mom would have wanted me to have them! Your loved one would be honored to know you’re smiling.
* Say what you need to say.
Getting things out on to paper is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Write a letter to the person you’re missing. Thank them for the difference they made in your life. Talk about the things they left you- not tangible gifts, but things more like your sense of humor, musical ability, or even unconditional love. Gifts of the heart can never be taken away from you.
Maybe your mom and all your children are still close by. Be sure and tell them how much you appreciate and love them! You won't regret it.
May the Lord hold you closely this Mother's Day so you'll know you're not alone.
Beth Marshall, Author of A Time to Heal, a grief journal and Grief Survivor, coming summer 2014