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Crossed Over

If I say my son passed away, that leaves no explanation as to where he is?

If I say his life has expired, then that concludes an end, yet eternity is forever!

Eight years have passed since our daughter (mother of our twin grandchildren), father-in-law, my brother, and our twin grandchildren’s father died. Time has eased the pain of losing four family members within nine months. Still, the emotional pain is there, smoldering and waiting to burst into flame.

So Here I Stay

After the sudden passing of my youngest sister and then within months, my husband passed as well, I was carrying around tissue boxes everywhere I went. I began to measure my grief progress by how many boxes I had.

As a kid, our most inner desire is to be accepted and fit in with those around us. Get rejected enough and that desire becomes a shield against life's cruelty. Some bury that desire and eventually have no need to fit anywhere. Others will search all their lives for that acceptance.

I still remember the day we moved into this home I have come to cherish. I was 23 and Keith was 11 months old. My first house.....so adorable on this lovely street with its fenced in yard. Quickly turning the back bedroom into a Sesame Street themed boy's dream....we began our life here.

I am so very tired, deep down to my core, of hearing platitudes that sound like, "Give it time, it will get better."

Yes, I realize these words are meant to be comforting. However in reality, they aren't. All such words do is keep me from sharing with you how I am truly faring.