She died when I was 25.
Barely able to support myself but trying so hard. Riddled with emotional turmoil from a childhood of ups and downs. Now, at 25, without a mother, I dropped deep into grief. I stayed there for a long time.
My mother was a complicated figure in my life. She was a source of many things. Both comfort and pain. And I the same for her, she once said.
Aug 19th is the day of HOPE so with that, I happily say…
I never bought flowers for your grave.
I visited once or twice but the stones felt cold
and you weren't there.
Instead I found you in your old garden
where you used to dig
And I placed seeds in the ground
and patted them down
like you once showed me how to do.
I sat back and watched your ghost
swaying, laughing, living
where the flowers grow free in the wild.
7 years this Sunday. Many things I thought I knew about life but then a car accident took Brian’s & I felt like I didn’t know anything. As yrs pass, there are many things I didn't know that I have learned…
I didn't know that I could live again after losing one of the two kids I love more than life
I didn’t know my grief for Brian would be stronger than my love for the living those first 3 years.
I didn’t know a pup named Luke would come in 2017 & save my life
I didn't know that I could cry so much
If truth be told before loss self-care wasn’t something I thought about. I did what most of us do. Handle our stuff. After loss I found that self care was a necessity for me to survive. Self care! Do it! Today self care looks like me chilling on a Captain America float having a cocktail.
Grief is unpredictable. It can knock you down in an instant…BUT the love!! That can make you stand taller than you ever had. That is what we must always remember when the grief tries to get a hold of the heart. Remember the LOVE!