Buck Up and Get Over It?

Buck up and get over it.

Yep, we’ve all heard some version of that. If we’re in the middle of a pity party, that might be good advice. If we’re hurting and in the midst of healing, however, it’s not very helpful.

“People are telling me to buck up and get over it. Life goes on. Put on your tough shoes. Be strong,” Paula said, with an edge in her voice.

She paused and pursed her lips. Her eyes bore into mine.

“Just how do you get over a husband? Tell me that!” she quipped.

You don’t. That’s impossible.

We never get over people. We learn to cope and compensate. Healing and recovery is about accepting the reality of the loss over time. But getting over the people we loved and have lost would mean forgetting or somehow pretending they never existed.

Ridiculous. Impossible.

You’ll never get over a missing loved one. But you will get through this time.

Here’s a grief affirmation:

“I’ll never get over you, but I will get through this season of grief.”

As Winston Churchill said, “If you're going through hell, keep going.” Hang in there. Be nice to yourself. Take yourself seriously. Breathe deeply.

Adapted from the Bestseller Heartbroken: Healing from the Loss of a Spouse (USA Best Book Awards Finalist, National Indie Excellence Award Finalist).