a mother trying to raise awareness after son's sucide

Hi my name is misty allen I'm 36 years old and I have 4 beautiful children even thoe one took his own life on 8/27/14 over an argument with his girlfriend.  I'll never understand why but that's not the point he's gone he was 15 1/2 years old left behind a little brother an older sister and younger sister who we all miss him deeply .

A Little More Time

When I was a very young teen, my mom, two brothers, two cousins and an Aunt took a trip from Colorado to California, by car, to see my grandma, mom's mom. We all know what traveling long distances with kids is like. My grandma had a hereditary lung condition, that's what my mom said. Grams lungs filled with fluid constantly, she was always on the edge of drowning.

“You’re Gonna Make it ‘Cause You Gotta Make It.”

Decades ago, when I was a young mother with two little daughters, the Air Force sent my husband to Vietnam. A flight surgeon, he was commander of a base hospital in the central highlands. He was gone for a year, and during that year I grieved for him immensely. My anticipatory grief became worse as the months passed.

A Time to Remember

The air grows heavy with the passage of summer; I find it increasingly difficult to breathe with the scent of early autumn creeping in and that feeling in the air that grips me and pulls me away to another time.

 August 5th, 2002 – John and I are driving bac

Motherless Mother

As a young girl and even teenager I envisioned all the big events in my future with my mother by my side. From college graduation, engagement, wedding, birth of my first child and all those small everyday things in between. I could not wait until the day we could grow older together, when I could get to know her as another adult and my best friend not just my mom.

Goodbye Brother

May your spirit soar in freedom,
May your tortured mind have peace.
May your tired body rest now,
May your soul be finally free.

We miss you so very much,
Our brother, our son, our friend.
It still doesn't quite feel real you know,
That this really is the end.

My brother

He was tired, his mind was tortured, he was sad, he was hurting, he was lonely, he was confused, he was angry, he was misunderstood, he was gripped by fear and he didn't know where to go.

He was a son, a grandson, a nephew, an uncle, a friend, a godfather, and he was my big brother.

My memories

I don't remember our early days together.
But i have enough memories to last forever.

I remember our childhood, our games and our fights.
I remember our day times, I remember our nights.

I remember our arguments, our laughs, our tears.
I remember how that never really changed over the years.

Sometimes

Sometimes just for one moment,
The seconds when I open my eyes,
I forget that you're not here now,
And all the tears I cried.

I think that you're still with me,
Still alive, happy and well.
And for a tiny moment each day,
I feel my life is all well.