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Up until this very moment, I had only admitted this to a few close friends, but the truth is the last month or so I have been occasionally frustrated with my blog page.

“What’s happening to me?” Maureen asked, her voice trembling.

The last time I spoke to my son all seemed well. My son went through periods of depression as well as suffering from anxiety. However, as we all know humans have an ability to be great pretenders. Especially when a person wants others to think all is well in their life.

"I wonder about my brain. I forget stuff and lose things. My memory is suddenly terrible. Am I just on grief overload?" Lisa asked. 

Ten years have passed since my daughter died. During this time I’ve unexpectedly burst into tears many times. I thought I would be used to this by now, but I’m not. Every time this happens I’m caught off guard, and taken by surprise. Am I a weak person? Did I miss something in my grief work?

When I allow myself to think of my 20 years with my Keith,i often focus on those last 3 or 4 as they were the most unforgettable.The last 2 especially....2 years spent with 18,EIGHTEEN rehabs,some-most 3 day,some 5 day and one -the best-6 month court mandated. Those rehabs we considered "vacations".

I sat down two nights ago, feeling the need to write, but not knowing where to start. Nothing came to me..no epiphany of words came…only an emptiness of thought and being. The longer I travel this lonesome road of life as I now know it, the more I understand the fragility of life, joy, and reality. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have done so many things differently.