This has been a dark and lonely walk. So many who travel this road, yet each one travels within themselves. We meet others who understand our pain, yet our pain is unique to us alone. Such a confusing and empty feeling without those we love. It does not matter what our minds tell us, our emotions rule. Our duality of personality keeps us swirling in a whirlpool of lost directions.
Do you know that I still see you
Though I’m in Heaven up above
I hope you see the signs I send to you
I know you feel my pure sweet love
There is no time you will be judged by me
For living can be hard to do
I understand that life can be a test
Please know that I am proud of you
I have been in the arms of Jesus
I was a lazy and spoiled 10 year old. I could do things for myself but I would wait until my mom did them for me. Sometimes I had to whine. Sometimes I had to look forlorn and put upon and sometimes she just did them without my machinations.
How does one describe grief?
Imagine you are suddenly in a boat
In the middle of an ocean
Most of the time the wind is light
The waves are small and bearable
Then suddenly the wind blows harder
The waves became giants
They come crashing over you
You feel as if you are drowning
If I could turn back time I would go back to my teenage years
I would take back every rude thing I said
I would choose to spend time with you, over my friends, instead
I am thankful we became so close over your last several years
I miss our walks, our talks, our adventures with my boys, and all that we would do
Good grief.
The first time I remember hearing this phrase was from Peanuts’ character Charlie Brown. Another unforeseen trial had come his way. Things hadn’t turned out like he’d expected. He’d been misunderstood again.
“Good grief.”
I used to think “Good Grief” was an oxymoron. Now I know different.
Loss is a part of life:
Freddy, honey? Are you there? I know you can hear me…
To those that move in next to this house they will never know that some of my best and worst moments reside here. They will never know that this house is not just any house, it was her home. Filled with the only memories I have left of her.
Where are you?
Where are you now?
If not here, then where?
Can I find you?
Can I feel you?
Can I see you?
How many children do you have?
Such a simple question asked.
The correct answer should be easy.
But for me it’s quite a task.
