Words for the Journey

Origin unknown – I read an article somewhere, some time ago on this topic and edited, shortened and added some of my own thoughts to it for my own purposes, but thought to share it with others who may get some benefit. (Italics in the article are my thoughts – ZellFred)

If Heaven had a stairway

I stopped to think of you todayAnd pictured your sweet face

This past week I lost a another relative to lung cancer.  She had been battling with it for many years and a true warrior, but finally lost her battle.  We grew up together as kids and had so much fun!  As  you get older and go off in separate directions, we lost touch.  I moved out of state and we rarely saw each other.  When my dad died, she attended his funeral

As the holidays roll in, I read different takes as to why and how painful the holiday season truly is and why……with the loss of my mom, my brother, and most recent my dad, growing up, we always made the holidays the showpiece and the event of the year……memories were made, fun, togetherness, and gatherings.  Now, all I have are empty chairs and an empty heart.

6:13 am Nov 13, 2014 my phone rang. I knew the voice, it was the voice of someone who didn't like my daughter. It held no compassion, no mercy as this voice bluntly blurts out: "YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD" Vaguely I remember saying; "What?"

There are days that i will always remember,

What did we do to deserve it Our sin was to fall in love with each other. Didn't we deserve to live happily We married because we loved. It wasn't just a passing thing. We made our marriage work through our differences. Yes we had some but we didn't give up on each other. When all was said and done neither of us would want to leave following a disagreement.

As I walked through Heaven’s GatesI heard you ask me to please stayIf you could only see the beauty herePlease know that I’m not far awayThere is no pain up here in HeavenAnger and fear just disappearI’m filled with Peace and Love each dayNow I watch over you from hereMy journey there in life was through

Call it insecurity or avoidance.  But there is a deep and honest part of me that wants to hide. 

 

The reason? 

I am different.  I have changed.  Not everyone understands it or likes it.

I have walked through fire and it changed me.

One Sunday afternoon when I was fifteen, my dad had a massive heart attack and collapsed in front of me. They resuscitated him at the hospital, but he never regained consciousness. For a week I sat by his bed and talked about anything and everything that came into my mind.I knew he wasn’t going to make it.

I suppose you're reading this assuming that this will be my long, sad, and depressing story about how I lost a loved one. To cut to the chase, you're not entirely wrong. You see, after losing my loved one I turned to writing as my only way to vent. In all honesty, writing was one of the few things I was in control of at that particular time in my life.