Words for the Journey

There are reasons we are afraid to find a moment of peace. Each beat of our hearts tattoo out that they are gone. If we find a small measure of ease for a few nano seconds, when it comes back it seems to hurt one hundred times more violently then it did while it was front and center in our minds. So many small and large things make our pain double as we travel though-out our daily duties.

 “Bah, humbug!” we want to shout.Or perhaps something worse.In my last article, Holiday Grief #1: Holidays? Yeah, Right  

We are repeatedly told:  “we all face death, but life goes on”. Yes, we all face death and life may go on for the lucky few; but I wake up every morning and I have to find a way to get through the day saturated in pain. That is not life.

We all know that memories are not enough. You cannot wrap your arms around a memory or kiss it's cheek, or hear it's voice. But this is what we are left with, memories. Some of us hold those moments past so close we begin to fear we will forget. The sound of their voice becomes less, the features of their face blurs and we panic.

Dearest daughter,  It has been two months since you passed into the Lord's arms........My prayer is that I will be blessed with a dream giving you a very long hug.  Oh, how I miss them and the "I Love Yous" you always ended our hug or conversation.  As time passes, it seems like my reach for you is getting more distant - like two hands reaching out for one another and n

I found myself stirring melting, bubbly cheese on this Thanksgiving Eve, and as I stirred methodically I thought of my Mother. For the sixth Thanksgiving in a row I was giving my best attempt at her infamous broccoli casserole. I always came up short in my mind's eye. 

To most Thanksgiving is a wonderful day, filled with family, food, joy and memories. The memory part is the problem for me. Thanksgiving was our favorite holiday together. The last Thanksgiving I had with her we were at my grandfather’s house. We took lots of pictures in fear it would be her very last Thanksgiving spent with her, we were right.

  When a loved one passes.. We tend to think of them as Lost…. We make the fact that we “Lost” them our focus….   We talk about spending our Days “Without” them…. We say that they “Won’t be with us in the Holiday Season” ….. “We will Never Spend another Birthday with them”….. “Living is so hard to do when they are gone”  My Question is…. WHY????????????

"There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. There are times when reality is nothing but pain and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind"

“Holidays? Yeah, right.” Jamie snorted. “Try celebrating anything while your heart is being ripped in two. The ripping began when he died, and it hasn’t let up since.”The holidays are normally a stressful time of year. But to face them while immersed in all-out grief can be almost impossible to imagine.