Words for the Journey

There is so much I wanted to saynever got the chance cause you went awayI'm hoping you are resting andfree of pain,  all of us miss youjust the same.You were a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friendright up to the bitter endIn our thoughts and on our mindsyou were very special and one of a kind 

When we’re hurting, we’re more vulnerable.That’s not surprising. Our hearts have been hit, perhaps broken. Our worlds are upside-down. The definition of normal has totally changed. Our emotions are all over the place.We’re more vulnerable than we realize.

In a moment in timemy life changed foreverin a moment in timewe would never be togetherin a moment of time my whole world fell apartnever knowing this break of the heart I was so blessed and didn't even knowor understand how this  goes To loose a parentin a moment in timemy whole world changed

I have your eyes and your long legs too

I have so many memories of you and I,business trips and taking the red eyefirst class seats and we traveled with lots to seei had so much fun and it was just you and Me My broken heart, I miss you sowhy did u have to go?before you passed, you said I'm staying right herenow, I just look at your picture and say oh dear

To The Distant Shore of Lake Grief   #8… After observing a fisherman launch a second stick of dynamite into the lake, the game warden started his engine and shot across the water to make the arrest.  “He yelled on his bullhorn, “Stay where you are.  I am a conservation officer, and you are under arrest.” 

I've been thinking about this idea a lot this week – ‘give yourself permission to grieve/feel/be ok/be not ok.’ It is a very therapist-y thing to say and it is definitely something that I have told clients. With all things we tell clients, most social workers know that it is easier said than done.

I have always been my fathers daughter and as well best friends,  I was his mini me. My father lost his father at age 19 from a bad heart. My father was an amazing man. Everyone who knew him loved him, a classy guy, but honest n real.

You were not meant to save meI wasn’t meant to staySo please stop blaming yourselfSince I have gone awayMy time on Earth was overThere’s something you should knowMy soul had reached its Growth thereIt was my time to goDon’t cry for all the Could Have’sThe What If’s and If OnlyLet go of all the guilt you hold

I had seven years to mentally prepare myself for my father’s death. Seven years of battling cancer and its horrific aftermath. Four years of watching my father struggle with severe dysphagia while surviving on a Peg Tube.  Four years of singing “Happy Birthday”, blowing out candles only to take the cake away from him.

Life was moving along at an incredible pace.

As I sit here n look over to your bed, your not in itAs I sit here n look towards your way you are no longer with us.it breaks my heart, you're gone and no longer herei was told your last drink was a nice cold beeri hear the sirens in the background and can't help feel but fearthis to me was losing a piece of my heart