Words for the Journey

Grief is one of the hardest emotional processes that a human being can go through. At the same time, amid life circumstances such as loss of loved ones or trauma, almost every person will go through a period of grief at one point in their life.

When someone is going through a hard time, it’s important to reach out, show consideration and let the person know you’re by their side. For many people, it’s hard to approach grieving people as it’s complicated to find emphatic words that could make the person feel better.

From as far away as Australia to the British Isles, from Canada to Nigeria, the Widowers Support Network hears the cries of men who mourn the loss of their wife, their soul mates, their partners in life.  Widowed men don’t ask for much, never have, never will.  After all, men who mourn are expected to “get over it,” right?  You know, be a man. Mocho, if you will.  Unfortunately, that’s not the way it was meant to be. 

Grief is a part of life, and you will continue to experience events that cause you to feel loss and grief throughout your life. Unfortunately, you don't always get to experience tragedy at a time in your life when you feel the strongest and most able to deal with it. In early recovery, dealing with loss can cause you to lose your focus.

The majority of teachers will interact every day with students that are grieving. Teachers naturally want to help but feel like they don’t have the right training to step in. The good news is that in-depth training is not required for teachers to be able to make a positive impression on the lives of their students who are grieving. Here, we offer five helpful suggestions to teachers to be able to support their students.

http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/watchandlisten/play/ba6d10472.

When I lost my son I didn’t know what to do with my self. Life seemed to stretch on endlessly and it did not include me. I was totally lost and afraid I would never come back from it, never. My friend brought me to singsnap and I started there, singing. It helped and I was surprised. I don’t feel I can sing very well but it didn’t matter. I sang this song for my son and it mattered so much to me.

As I work with many widows, I often am asked about advice for settling estates and handling financial affairs after the death of their spouse.

The death of someone close to us can be traumatic and devastating. It stays with us for months, years even and it can completely cripple us. Luckily, we have a great coping and healing mechanism at our fingertips, and that’s writing. Research has shown that writing during the grieving process can improve a person’s immune system and their emotional and mental health. It can be difficult to get started because of the powerful emotions it triggers, but in the end, there are therapeutic benefits of letting your emotions out.

This is the passing of child grief and self grief. I hope I can write this so you all understand what I am trying to say and if I don't succeed, you will let me know.

When Tim died, the normal everyday mask was torn off, like blinders from my eyes. I suddenly found that I had no filters, no mask, and no give a shit. It didn’t matter to me how people perceived me, or if they even came around, which they didn’t so the loss of filters is very serious. Once everything hits you, you are in a storm that the earth has never seen. If your grief, anger, and sorrow could swallow the whole world and spit it back out. You deal with pain so unknowable there are no words for it. It cannot be measured or boxed up. So what do we do with it?

Music therapy has been around a long time as a healing modality. It sure can be a big help when we need some mood-altering, can’t it?  I’ve leaned on it a lot in the years since Pat has been gone. It even made an entrance in my head as my beloved husband lay in Critical Care during his last few days. Not in the way you might think,  not the soft music that hospice workers suggest.

I had never heard of “widow fog” or the fog of grief until I became a widow. You probably hadn’t either. It’s not something that non-grievers discuss.  That meant that I was caught totally off guard when memory problems arose after Pat’s death.  I really questioned if I was losing my mind. It really did feel as though I were in a fog.