Words for the Journey

Thursday 9 October: 24 weeks today.  I am so ill again today I had to leave work after 2.5 hours. So here I am lying in bed with another bout of bronchitis. Another week has passed. I still count in weeks. I'm not sure when I will start counting in months and the thought of years is paralyzing. I dread the 1 year mark. I dread the first Christmas without you, your birthday in January.

In your handA simple sweet reminderA circle shape of unconditional love,A center filled with memories, 

Ste today I had to get the train to London. I couldn't help but compare my journey of grief with my journey on that train. 

To Zephyr In the darkness I see a lightI try to believe that it’s trueMy emotions wake me up at nightWishing I was next to you You took me up to galaxiesWhere stars and comets collideNow the distance between our dreamsIs growing smaller inside 

There are days that seem to never end. Those are the days when the tears fall the most. It does not matter what direction you turn, how hard you resist, how frantically you try to push away from the pain, the next teardrop falls. How does the human body have such a capacity for so many tears?

An angel whispered in your ear,

A few years ago, before she passed, my mom talked about the little brother she lost when she was just a child. I had heard the story a few times over the years and thought I knew it well. It happened over 50 years ago and she still cried. It was not until Tim's passing that I realized I did not know her story at all.

Widowhood.. what a journey this is...for many of us losing our partner represent not only the loss of them but of ourselves..we were Mr & Mrs so and so.. Who are we now ? We always had that person even if he was in another room watching football on a Sunday.. But he was there..

I love you right up to the moon and backLike I've never loved beforeIf I measured this a thousand timesI'd still love you a whole lot moreThere are no words to express my love

It's your 'Angel Anniversary'Can't believe how time has passedSeems like yesterday I saw youNever dreamt it would be the lastYou left such special memoriesMany hearts were broken too

I Can't stop my tears from fallingIn an instant they seem to flowPain it strikes right through meNot wanting to let goAt times when I am all aloneAnd it's pouring down outside