Words for the Journey

Today They Set The Stone.

Our changed views of the world become our normal out look. Everything is different, absolutely everything. Some things will right them selves, but most will remain changed and we become use to that change. It becomes our way of life. Just as we see the colors of the universe darken, we see people for who they truly are. Another painful rite of passage into this strange new land.

When someone dies, many people feel the need to express their condolences. It is only polite, after all. However, it’s not easy to come up with the right thing to say in such an awkward situation. It often turns the most eloquent person into a babbling annoyance who says the wrong thing at the wrong time.

It was one of those stormy, gloomy days — a Sunday, as it happens — and I was piddling inside my house, while listening to music.

Ste the Sunflower that we had started to grow before your spirit soared to heaven has now shown her face as a symbol of solidarity and hope that you are now at peace.

When all else eases a little, guilt keeps on building up. We wonder what we could have said or done differently. We tell ourselves that if we had kept them talking a little longer, they would not have been at that red light at that exact time. If we had taken them to the doctor sooner.

“That Cold Night You Left Me”As days goes by and nights drift in,I wonder how did your pain begin?I drift back to that cold and windy night,Still not believing you gave up the fight.

When you died, I thought you had left me  Now I realise I'm forever changed as you will always be within meI carry you in every part of me
My mind cannot think as it's full of my memories of youIt now carries your thoughts, dreams and aspirations too
My eyes cannot see you, as with a veil of tears they're embossedI weep for us both now for the future we've lost
My voice cannot speak, as your voice is within meIt overwhelms my own telling me you love and miss me

Who survives the death of their child? Do parents feel they even really want to survive the death of their child? The death of my child was the most devastating loss and pain I have ever felt and those that walk in a similar journey would agree.

In answer to those of you who ask my husband and I these questions:“Are you getting there?”“We don’t know where there is, but no we don’t feel like we are getting there.”“Is it getting any easier?”“No, sadly, every day seems to bring a deeper awareness of our loss and grief.”“How are you?”“Struggling through our grief.”