Words for the Journey

My wife, Shannon, suffered from mitochondrial disease – or mito as it is known to the victims, friends, and family of those afflicted. A mito patient’s mitochondria are not effective at “producing the power” that cells need to function and that organs need to thrive.

After losing my husband, soulmate, lover, best friend and sounding board, I did not know where to go or what to do. The funeral was over. Friends and family went home and on with their lives. My house which was filled with people was suddenly empty. The hospital bed that my husband used was gone.

Things that were once so simple become mountains of impossibilities. Something as easy as rinsing dishes change in our eyes to a rushing flood of torrent rains. Laundry is the Swiss Alps. Cooking is a brunt pan on the stove because we forgot we were cooking. Driving is not advised. The mind wonders and you can't remember how you got from point 'A' to point 'Z' and you freak.

“I Love You Too” I heard your prayers, I saw your tearsFor those who couldn’t stay.By God I sat, softly watching you--I was never far away. The raw and yearning want for child,

August is such an emotional month for me...I go from being happy to sad to depressed in such rapid succession that it scares some people. See, 3 years ago, I was pregnant with my youngest son. He wasn't due until September and I was living in North Carolina at the time. My family was in Virginia.

The one thing in life that we cannot really wrap our minds around is death. Yes, we know all things die and eventually, we will too, but in our hearts, we don't believe that. From birth, we think we are forever and in some ways we are. Forever in the minds and hearts of those who love us until they pass. Forever in whatever our beliefs may be.

I come home and make a drinkTime to cook, no time to think. Kids and baths then off to bedTuck them in those sleepy heads.And now it's quiet, I'm aloneIn this shell that was our home. I see you still in each doorwaySo many things I have left to say.

I am moving closer to eternity every day. I am not moving further away from you - I am moving towards you.Heaven is a place of perfect reunion.  The promise and hope of heaven will enable me to deal with the grief while I move ever closer to you.Eternity with my Creator God and my beloved - THAT is the joy that awaits me after this daily pain!!

I woke up this morning and lit a candle for you my loveThe little flame flickering and struggling to stay alightWanting to go out ...flickering weakly, The little flame just like me... I opened the blinds and I see it is overcast and rainingSo symbolic of my life without youIt rains in my heart every day

Last October my husband’s aorta split like a garden hose. If something wasn’t done he would bleed to death. He had three emergency operations and the third left him with paralyzed legs. Thanks to physical therapy, he can stand for a minute and a half, and his right leg works. But his legs can’t support him and my husband will never walk again.