Words for the Journey

After feeling broken or lost after a Loss of a Loved one. You create walls of protection that guide you and keep others at a didtance. Is this safe? Probably not but you just feel like no one knows and if they pretend to they just treat you differently. I assure you we may look fragile but inside we are stronger but then there are days we are stronger inside than our appearance on the outside.

You left me on a Sunday.

I really don’t contemplate the reasons or meaning of life much anymore. I think it would drive me crazy and with all that has happened, crazy is not too far away. I’m sure we all feel that way, that we have gone off our rockers with all the changes that happened so suddenly when our loved one passed. We are not crazy, just different.

The are times when the warrior tiger comes out in me. For me, it is a new trait that started when Tim died. When someone says something so wrong that the tiger rises up in defense. Am I selfish in my loss of my son? You bet I am. It is not that I don’t see others pain, or feel pain for them, it is that my loss is personal. We will see the loss of our child as the greatest loss of all.

Beautiful, strong and eternalis a sister's loveWhether it exists on earthor in the Heaven aboveLimits and boundariesa sister's love knows noneEven whenher physical presence is goneNeither sickness nor death

The Early Days We “miss” you

They say I should feel lucky, I still have my memories. Lucky? They wonder, at this six month point, why I still grieve as I did at that first moment. They tell me I should get right with God, ummm, they know my relationship with God? They don't understand why I am not moving on, getting over it, letting go, saying a final good-bye. I find these things offensive.

As time passes by, you can almost catch your self feeling as if your slipping away.But it takes inner strength and faith to keep you connected. One truly relates to pain or a loss so differently, while others seem to glance at a watch and say " it's been long enough". I know emotions surface during anniversary dates that we just don't want to remember.

My brother in law died in a commercial fishing accident several years ago. He was helping a close friend try to catch some fish that he could sell. Mr. Brooks had two dollars in his wallet when the cooler washed up on shore. The boat was overturned. The wallet was safe inside, Al and Mr. Brooks were nowhere to be found.

These Three Weeks ... Grievers all have a certain date that designates when they lost a loved one.

Coping with sudden deathThe phone call and knock on the door