Words for the Journey

Walkaways....2002 No big differences these daysJust the same old walkawaysAnd someday I’m gonna stay

 “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope.” Bill Cosby

I have been told that one thing that would help me is to get out and volunteer.  I've thought about it, but I know I am not ready yet.  Losing Ray has been so very hard.  He was my strength when I was down.  You see, when I met Ray, I had very little trust in men.  In fact, I was scared to death of being alone with a man. 

It has become like breathing...Sometimes I wonder why I am not thinking about Alicia more frequently or feeling the intense pain of grief more often…And then I realize, I am.

It was 17 weeks ago today I lost you, Ray.  Today, the loss of our physical contact hit me hard.  I remember how I could always come up and hug you for no special reason, just because I love you was reason enough.  That loss of contact is hitting me hard.

First – adj. Preceding all others in time.Final – adj. Coming at the end. Being the last in a series.

My mother has been gone from life for what seems like eternity, however, some days it seems like I saw her beautiful face, smelled her Vanilla perfume in her hug, and patted her long black hair just yesterday.

My mind says he's goneMy heart says noCan't you feel his love?Can't you feel his presence?My mind says he's goneMy heart says noDon't you remember the times you shared?Don't you smile at the little things he did for you?My mind says he's goneMy heart says noYou are strong because of his love he had for you

Do you remember when Julia Roberts, as the character Elizabeth Gilbert in the book/film “Eat, Pray, Love” said “I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am.

My mind says he's gonemy heart says no.I look for himI listen for his voiceI miss sharing my day with himI miss his endearing wordsI miss his wisdom

It was 15 weeks ago today I lost the one and only love of my life.  Sometimes the pain of the loss is so overwhelming and I feel as if I am drowning in a pain that I can't heal. I pray constantly for strength to get me through this loss.

I use to think that after a person was gone that it was the end, that everything that was shared was no longer, not ever thinking that one day i'd be where I am right now. That's just it so often people think what they think never understanding that in the quickest of ways life gives you a strong lesson to the thoughts you once believed.