Words for the Journey

On June 13,2013, The Grief Toolbox published an article called “Please Come to Boston- The Circularity of My Grief Journey”, which can be found at the following link:

Heart: the organ that sees better than the eye.  Yiddish ProverbWe all have questions after a loved one dies.

This month has started off rough.  I know in my heart it is because this month is Ray's birthday and our wedding anniversary.  It seems each day brings more pain as I grieve over the loss of my one and only love. 

  She is goneyet, I am not alonealthoughI’d rather be. You have cometo take her placeto fill the void.A new companioneasing your way intoevery crack and crevasseevery spaceWithin me, that was once hersonly hersto occupy. 

I see a little boy in a white chef's hat at the play stove concocting some imaginary meal for me . . . When I dig out the chef's hat, it's yellowed from age. But the memory---now over seventeen years old---will never yellow, never fade.  There are days it is as fresh as today's gardenia blooms.

I thought I was making progress.  I attended my former company picnic for a couple hours.  There were hugs.  On my way there, I had a panic attack and almost turned my car around to go back home, but then I heard a voice tell me "You can do it."  I kept saying it over and over for 10 minutes.  Afterwards, I drove straight to Ray's grave and broke down.  I need

Love Storygot it all wrong.There’s nothing romantic about cancerIt’s hideous and hatefulugly and mean.Not satisfied to consume only its’ victimsit devours the hearts and soulsof everyone who loves them.There is nothing romanticabout kissing your partner goodnightbefore walking across a hospital parking lot

I’m dying a deathby paper cutsNone are fatal yetI’m bleedingall overYour jacket hanging on the doorwaiting for you to go to workA funny thought crosses my mindI know you would enjoy.Reminders that youwere here.Reminders that you are gone.A photoA memoryfading

The cold shockof winter’ssalty water, splashingon bare skin.ThankfullyI go numb. Tides advanceto bring a new realityand then recedetaking with themall my dreams. Waves form in the distancerolling in slow motiontoward me.I watch with fascinationthen fear

 11 Jun 2013Glen Lord – The Grief ToolboxConversation with TomEpisode 6Glen Lord – The Grief Toolbox

Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.  David Searls

Lately, it seems as though every time I turn around I'm bombarded with some reference to signs.  Specifically, signs that we believe come from loved ones who have passed.