Words for the Journey

I asked the earth, "What is the meaning of life?" and then sat down and listened quietly, and then here is what the earth said to me. Look up and see the stars that hang without help in the sky, see the sun that shines down and travelers quietly. Love the moon that is always there even when it hides shyly. See the flowers that bloom every year and the trees that unfurl their leaves.

Child loss is unimaginable unless it becomes your life. In an instant your world comes tumbling down. That is exactly what happened to me on Nov 7, 2014 when my son Brian died in a car accident. My life. My parents lives. My stepdaughter and husband lives. His friends & teachers lives. All changed. #doitforbrian

"Sleep? What's that?" Paul said. "I manage to snatch a little here and there, but I haven't slept through the night since Colton died."

Coping with the death of a loved one is a complicated process. It involves dealing with an array of emotions and can leave you feeling drained, overwhelmed and unable to handle even the simplest of daily activities.

As we age we are inevitably bereaved more often, and it is at a time of our life when we are more vulnerable. Research shows that the generation that are in their 60’s and older, are the least likely to access or receive appropriate support when someone dies, and this is particularly true of men.

"Thanks to other people, I’ll make it. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a team of brave hearts to help someone survive the loss of a child," Marge shared.

We always talk about the regret a griever may have leading up to their loss – did I do enough, did I love enough, could I or should I have done more?

I can hardly believe that our angels have been gone for over 5 years.  I still have days where the true reality of all of it still hasn't settled in. When we hit 5 years this past November 4th I felt a new kind of sadness and emptiness.  Time makes things different but it does not make things easier.

"I wander. I drift. I have no purpose. Everything feels meaningless," Mark said."Me too. I'm just here. That's all," Melanie added.

I wrote Grief Works because I was angry. Angry that so many of the bereaved clients that came through my door, were suffering more than necessary, because they felt they should have been coping better, feared they were going mad. They had no idea this is normal in grief.  And they didn’t know how to help themselves.

"Does it ever get any better? Everyone says I should be over this or further along." Annette said. 

I see your tears from Heaven I see the pain you hold for me I know you wish I was still with you Just the way I used to be I hear you say that you sure miss me I've watched you scream out loud alone I know it's hard to live without me You wish that Heaven had a phone I want to show you that I'm with you Please feel me here right at your side Heaven is truly all around you My Soul, it never ever