Words for the Journey

Since you've been goneI keep thinking you're coming back.I waited, day and nightBut you never came.Now...I am so torn...

We should have grown old together

There is not one single person that I have talked to who does not feel guilt. The degrees of guilt are different of course, but it seems everyone has it. I had it for a long time after Tim died. Had I listened closer, done something different, spoke the right words, opened my eyes, sensed the impending doom... something, anything. Guilt has a long long list.

Dear friends,

I am trying to find myself I am trying to find myself.From the outside in.My life, my spirit and soul be fulfilled,Although there is an empty place where my heart once was.

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it' just one day at a time.Just for today I will remember my child's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

I mean no disrespect to my loved ones and friends but this is for those who have no clue as to how words are felt and heard.

Can't believe it. 30. 10 whole birthdays without you physically at them. 9 1/2 since you left . Of course,I think to myself-I still have a party for you...you ARE 21,22,23 etc....somewhere and I NEVER want you to think we forget. Everyone comes those first few years when memories are so very fresh.

On this day is my AngelversaryBut it is not a day to cryFor I’m right here with you from HeavenSo please don’t sit and ask God WhyPlease take the memories that I left youAnd share them with all those we loveYou make me smile when you speak of meAs I watch over you from AboveYou see the life I lived was not defined

Friendships are great...we have fun with them, tell secrets, share our hearts, go for coffee, vent our frustrations and go through life changes together. I have so many friends from my high school days and I am thankful for each of them.

We never knew, you or I, that sadness could go so deep, become so permanent. It sinks into the soul and becomes the soul. There is nothing that can wash it out, cleanse us of this terrible sorrow. We search for the cure, but a cure does not exist. On some level, we know. We know it is here to stay. We read others sorrow, years of sorrow and cry because that is our life story now too.

The healing process….it is up and down all the time…..it makes us cry and it makes us laugh…depending on what we are thinking of about our loved one no longer with us.  In losing my mom, my dad, and my brother all at different times in my life..…I think of them, a situation, something clear out of the blue and it brings back a memory….sometimes it makes me smile or laugh and sometimes it m