Words for the Journey

As the sixth month of being a widow passes by I have been trying to reflect on where I’ve been and where I am going. I know where I’ve been these last six months. I’ve been in limbo. That place where you can’t quite finish anything you start.

MANNA PEACESo what is the difference between grieving with God and grieving without God you may ask? 

Scared I feel as though I am surrounded by death, or threat of death. Someone is sick, someone is late, someone doesn't call as promised. I can't handle it.

Why is it that one can have so many people that love and care about her and yet still feel so empty inside and so alone in this world?! She puts on a brave face daily trying with all her might to keep it together, why?! When in reality all she wants to do is shut down and not have to worry about anything or anybody!

You gave your hand to me, and then you said good byeI held it tightly while, I sat and watched you die

The overgrown flower bed taunts me.. I can hear my mother's disappointed voice. "Jennifer, that flowerbed is atrocious.. over grown.. it needs weeding." My mother loves this house.. She loves to garden.. There are flowerbeds all over the place, on every side of the property. Too much for even me to handle.

 Mom, It’s me your precious daughterAnd I’m in Heaven up aboveI see you miss me since I’ve passedI want to send you my sweet loveI have to laugh now that I seeHow very much I am like youI love your strength you shared with meYou’ll need your strength to see you throughFor Mom’s like you they are so precious

Death is a thief. A black masked, sneaky, insensitive thief. Uninvited, it helps itself to your future plans, your finances, your control over emotion and rational thought and most importantly, takes away the one you love most. And, if given the chance, it robs you of all happiness.

Motivation is one of those biggies that we lose. There is no desire to do anything, that especially includes taking care of ourselves. There is no appetite, how could there be? So why cook? Why clean? Why do anything? Our hearts and minds are so caught up in this greatest tragedy of our lives that there is no room in our brains for anything else.

I often wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you.God knows I think of you every second of every day.I think of the special moments we shared.Those were some of the happiest times of my life.

Mom Even though I am in HeavenMy new chapter in life has begunAnd nothing could ever come betweenThe love of a Mother and SonYou carried me as a babyThe bond we have will never bendYou will always be my sweet MotherYou are my Guiding Light, My Best Friend  We created sweet memories in life

Months ago I felt called to write. I thought He meant for me to write a book, so I started a book. I haven't had time to work on it since; so that's not really helping anyone, including me. Lately I've been feeling the need to write again so I decided upon blogging. I still like the first couple chapters I wrote so I'm going to share them with you.