Words for the Journey

Did you get to meet the one that livedevery day as if it were her last?Did you see that smiling face,did you hear her infectious laugh?Did you know the one that had a hugfor even the ones that fussed at her?Did you ever go somewhere and knowwhen the life of the party arrived?Did you know the one that could makethe best of the worst situation?Did you feel like you were a specialperson around her?Did you ever feel so loved?Were you one of the lucky ones...that got to meet my Courtney Mae?

 

Mourners need two things: (1) to be able to express themselves and share their grief experience without being judged and (2) to know that they have been heard and understood. Remember that the best way that you can help mourners is to be present, listen, support and encourage them. Simply being there for grievers can help them move toward healing. Here’s some of the actions and sayings you should avoid doing for people in grief:

What if... I had called the doctor like he asked? "Cindy, can you call the doctor and see if he can get me in tomorrow morning before I leave for my business trip?" my husband asked. "I'm not feeling well. I'm starting to get a bad cold and cough. Maybe he can give me something before I get too sick."I agreed I would call. It was February. We lived in sunny, warm, Florida at the time, however, his trip was to Pennsylvania and the weather would be very cold that time of year.

Every time I think of you, my heart breaks once againEvery time I think of you, another tear fallsEvery time I think of you, I start missing you all over againEvery time I think of you, I think of the years that should have beenEvery time I think of you, a memory of you comes to mind.Every time I think of you, I can’t help thinking of what could have beenEvery time I think of you, I have to smile because in the end love was thereEvery time I think of you, I am reminded of how short life can be

When children are young many people will recommend not taking them to see fireworks. The bright lights and loud sounds can be confusing and scary. When our son Noah was a year and a half we took him to his first fireworks display. We choose a small town over the big city, carefully choose a seat in the grass that would give us an easy escape and prepared for the celebration to begin.

My First Experience with Loss

During the last full week of school with my first grade students I was readingThe Velveteen Rabbit which depicts the "life" of a  briefly unloved stuffed rabbit who soon became a little boy's favorite toy.  Upon meeting "Real" rabbits, he learned that he was not "real" and would never live like they did.  Saddened he talked to the old rocking horse in the nursery who explained to him that  he could INDEED become real by way of the magic the love the little boy gave him which would make him "Real".  The boy became

After the loss of her son Robert in April of 2006, Autumn Ater found it a real challenge not to lose herself in her grief…it was then that God planted a seed in her heart to start a faith based ministry for mothers called “A Hole In My Heart”.

In June 2011 my beautiful loving daughter Courtney Mae aged 14 2mths of 15 drowned when the boat she was in capsized in Lake Macquarie. As Courtney’s mother I am struggling to comprehend why my daughter died, when life jackets were available to them.

We We weren't married... We hadn't lived together for years and years... However, we were everything to each other. We had 4 years of being a couple.... 13 years of being best friends. The connection was, and is, sooo deep. We were best friends, partners, companions, lovers. Rich went into the hospital in September 2011. He ended up needing open heart surgery, to replace his aortic vakve. Initially, surgery seemed successful. However, many complications occurred, which lead to many subsequent hospitalizatiins.

Today marks my daughter’s 17th birthday.  But I often find myself asking the question, “How does one celebrate the birthday of a beautiful child who is now in heaven?”  For most parents celebrating the birthday of their child is a joyous day filled with love, laughter, family and friends.  But for me it’s a day of mixed emotions.  I read poems, I look at pictures and videos, I visit the cemetery and place flowers, I let go of balloons, and I cry.  I cry for the life that was never lived.  I cry because my daughter is not here to celebrat