Words for the Journey

After reading a recent article in the Medical Journal of Australia I was disgusted with the perspective put forward that there is no benefit for parents in holding their stillborn child.  Whilst I lost my daughter four days after birth I couldn’t fathom what I might be feeling today if I did not get the chance to bond with her.  How can a parent NOT benefit from the opportunity to hold, love, make memories and create a connection that will be ever-lasting with their child?

If you have ever lost a loved one, it is a comfort to know that at some point the person will most likely try to make contact with you.  I refer to these special encounters as “angel whispers.”  While doing research for my books, I spoke to numerous individuals in various parts of the world who were fortunate enough to experience these events.  They happened at times when the peo

I Don’t Want My Mojo Back By Cindy Adkins 

Dealing With InsensitivityBy Cindy Adkins

You Knew an Angel By Cindy Adkins So many of us go through the process of grief without realizing that our lives have, indeed, been touched by angels.  I don’t mean the kind of beings with wings that are in the heavens and play harps.  I am talking about real-life angels.  So, if they are suddenly taken from us, it leaves a hole so deep not only because we miss them, but we also long for their goodness that we could always depend on.

If anyone has ever lost a loved one, there is no describing the experience.  Nothing prepares us for grief—nor can anything move us through the process faster than our hearts are willing to go.  It is a journey that has no destination other than being able to survive it.

We Are Never Ready to Say “Good-bye”By Cindy Adkins 

     For my master’s thesis, I interviewed several people who worked in professions that dealt with death.  I was almost forty-years old when I embarked on this project and I had only lost a grandmother when I was young.  (Or, so I thought.  I’ll get to that.) It was my hope that my interaction with these people could help me overcome my fear of death.

Father’s Day can never be the same. Father’s Day was just around the corner; this was going to be the fifth Father’s day where I would both celebrate my father and my being a father.  In the short time I had spent in this window of being both a father and a son I had learned so very much. My son had taught me that the world was so much bigger than me, he had made me a better man.  Being a father had also offered me the perspective and appreciation for many of the things my father had done for me when I was little. 

My dad was my hero. He was a good man... I always felt taken care of. I have always been a pretty independent person but when he died I felt like who's going to take care of me now? Who's going to worry about me like he worried about me? That was when my mom was still here, and it's true she cared for me and worried about me, but there was something about my dad's strength that I just could not let go of.The truth is, no one will love you like your dad and no one could ever fill his shoes... but there are people who want to love you if you look around.

I must admit, I'm not certain that I have the credentials to make this submission.  I have not experienced the impact of death that so many live with each day.  I've been a compassionate bystander as close friends and co-workers have found themselves thrust into their own circumstances.  As a former Marine Corps Sergeant I served as part of a special duty team that provided full honors for fallen and former Marines as part of their military funeral services.   My point, I've seen grief but I am blessed to have never had to cope personally.

As grievers we all have an anniversary date, that one day on the calendar that will never just be one of the 365 days. For some there are more than one day.  Five Days on the calendar that will never be the same for me