Words for the Journey

Where are you?Where are you now?If not here, then where?Can I find you?Can I feel you?Can I see you?

How many children do you have?Such a simple question asked.The correct answer should be easy.But for me it’s quite a task.

My angel, my life My husband, your wife You made every day Awesome in every way.  There's nothing to do To stop thinking of you.  There's nothing to say  To make the pain go away.  But you've been in my dreams  And for now it seems I'll have to settle for this; Although how I wish

For my most recent workshop at Frankfort Kentucky's Regional Compassionate Friends co

That dreaded year of 'firsts' has passed. I know that there are still more ahead, but the rough ones are done. There will be places we go, things we hear, stuff we do that will still be a first without our son. These do not bring the heartache to mind that birthdays, holidays, death day did. They will not be without their pain, but still,  it will not be the pain of this last year.

As I stand outside of HeavenLooking through God’s open door

So it begins......2015 is here and I don't think of this any different than the past 8 New Year's. This is already the 9th year without my son Keith here. This is so incredibly distressing to me. How did time move so fast? How did we "survive" 8 whole years of this misery?

I am thankful your suffering has ended.i am thankful I was able to hold you in my arms as you passed away.i have learned to accept that you needed to lash out those last six months and trusted my love would be strong enough to withstand the assault.i am proud of how valiantly you clung to life.I am proud at your efficiency in closure.

We learn early in life that it is a cruel world. We also learn that it can be beautiful. You hear from your parents that life is not fair so suck it up buttercup. You see that unfairness everyday just by watching the News as thousands die for no reason. It is such a constant we are use to it, until someone close to us dies.

Buddhist nun Pema Chodrin said in her book, When Things Fall Apart, "Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad, we call something good.

DefineHey Father!Hear my Happy NessNew Year’s soul-u-shins!I will no longer be definedby passing timeothers’s visionscircumstancespain of the pastfear of the futureI will search for the TruthI will love openlytalk honestlycry genuinely believe faithfullypractice integrity daily smile easily

If I would've known this was to be our last year together I would've visited you more.If I would've known those were our last holidays with you maybe I would've slowed down, and lived in that moment more. If I would've known that would be the last father's day with you I would've held you longer.